KOLINA CHRONICLES PART 2
Oooops. Forgot to post an update on Kolina's possible first kiss. It didn't happen. But she enjoyed seeing Pingu again (who I have since found out is called Manuel)(but is nothing like the Fawlty Towers Manuel).
Since then, we've had our hands full with her. Or should I say, to do with her. Let's start with last Monday. A trip to the orthodontist. Since she had a bad accident 16 months ago, the whole getting braces thing was put on hold while her mouth healed and we were what was going on with the damaged teeth. The dentist told Andy that it looks like the two front teeth are disintigrating inside the gum and that once Kolina has finished growing, like around the age of 17, the teeth will have to be pulled out and she'll get implants. Ugh! Just the thought! I feel so sorry for her and can't believe that that accident has caused so much continuous damage. It makes my heart bleed for her, knowing what she'll eventually have to go through.
On that same day, we had a parent/teacher interview to discuss where Kolina will be going to high school in the fall. Let me explain first about the Zurich secondary school system. It sucks. There are two levels, called A and B. The smart kids go to level A and the "others" go into B. Kolina will be going into B, but we knew that and are happy with it. She's not a great student, good grades do not come easy for her and she will be in classes with kids who are like her. Now, apart from A and B, two classes are divided yet again into 3 groups: 1, 2 and 3. Group 1 is for the best students, 2 is for average students and 3 is for the "scholastically challenged" kids. This is where Kolina will be going for math. Again, not a surprise. For French she will be in group 2. As if all this is not confusing and segregating enough, the kids can change groups 3 times a year. If they work hard and get good grades, they can move up a level. If they don't, they go down a level. Talk about putting stress on them! Honestly, I think the Swiss live for stress. They're not happy unless they're stressed. I repeat: it sucks, in my opinion. But there you go, that's how it is and I can do anything to change it. I can be there for my daughter, I can help her, I can incourage her. So other than finding out where Kolina will be places, we were given a slap in the face when we were told that socially speaking, our daughter is an outcast. She's been labelled an outsider. This because she doesn't have any real girl friends in the class. That is because most of the girls belong to a popular click and the "leader" of this click (who I cannot STAND) actively shuts Kolina out. Apparently this is Kolina's fault. The one good friend she does have, Kristina, is also good friends with another girl in the class, Pascale. Pascale is totally jealous of Kolina being friends with Kristina and is really mean to Kolina, hoping she'll have Kristina to herself. Apparently this is also Kolina's fault. So, because no one wants her, or has the guts to stand up for her, she goes and plays soccer with the boys, who accept her and let her play with them. Or she goes and jumps rope with yougner kids. Apparently this means my child is backwards socially. Andy and I sat at the meeting with our mouths wide open and were pretty much speechless. I had to dig my nails into my palms so I wouldn't burst into tears on the spot. And the best part of all this was: Kolina was with us and heard all this. She must have felt like a million bucks. We knew that she didn't really hang out with anyone, but that it was this bad....I wonder why we weren't informed sooner, if it was that big of a deal. Once home, we talked it over and we all ended up crying. I felt so sorry for her. And I'm wondering if the reason she's been so difficult at home is because she's letting out all her sorrow and frustration out. And we've been punishing her for her "bad" behaviour. Once we calmed down and slept on it, Andy and I have gotten angry. We're furious with the teacher for his remarks and we don't think that Kolina has problems socially. Everyone we know says how outgoing and friendly she is. And so she plays soccer with the boys, so what? At least she helped herself and found someone to play with. And why the fuck is it only her fault? Why aren't the other bitches in her class being spoken to? Oh yes, we're angry. And we're in the midst of composing a letter to the teacher to tell him our "thoughts." Since then, we've told Kolina repeatedly that we are proud of her, that we do not think she's antisocial and we're perfectly OK with her playing with boys if that's what she wants to do at recess. We did encourage her to try and make friends with the other girls, because other than the bossy leader, Kolina likes the other girls and would like to be with them sometimes. My very good friend Gaby's daughter Jasmin belongs to this click. Through her, I've found out that this bossy girl is a bitch to everyone, but no one stands up to her. Jasmin said if Kolina wants to hang out with her and the other girls at recess, she should just come over, and if anyone says anything, Jasmin will tell them off. Jasmin also told me that the "in" girls went and told the teacher on Pascale for being mean to Kolina. Funny, he never mentioned that to us.
And the final chapter in today's Kolina Chronicles prooves that she's NOT socially incompetant. Just last week, a 12-year-old boy called her and asked her to "go" with him. OK, he's the local deliquant, but still! Thank goodness she turned him down because she is forbidden to have anything to do with him. He's 12, but has been kicked out of every school in Niederhasli. He also smokes, brags about the fights he's been in, and rumour has it he's a bit weird in the sexuality department. The story I heard involved a boys' shower. Enough said. I don't even want to go there. So needless to say, he is NOT considered boyfriend material!
So that's it. You're all up-to-date. Enjoy the potty training!
Since then, we've had our hands full with her. Or should I say, to do with her. Let's start with last Monday. A trip to the orthodontist. Since she had a bad accident 16 months ago, the whole getting braces thing was put on hold while her mouth healed and we were what was going on with the damaged teeth. The dentist told Andy that it looks like the two front teeth are disintigrating inside the gum and that once Kolina has finished growing, like around the age of 17, the teeth will have to be pulled out and she'll get implants. Ugh! Just the thought! I feel so sorry for her and can't believe that that accident has caused so much continuous damage. It makes my heart bleed for her, knowing what she'll eventually have to go through.
On that same day, we had a parent/teacher interview to discuss where Kolina will be going to high school in the fall. Let me explain first about the Zurich secondary school system. It sucks. There are two levels, called A and B. The smart kids go to level A and the "others" go into B. Kolina will be going into B, but we knew that and are happy with it. She's not a great student, good grades do not come easy for her and she will be in classes with kids who are like her. Now, apart from A and B, two classes are divided yet again into 3 groups: 1, 2 and 3. Group 1 is for the best students, 2 is for average students and 3 is for the "scholastically challenged" kids. This is where Kolina will be going for math. Again, not a surprise. For French she will be in group 2. As if all this is not confusing and segregating enough, the kids can change groups 3 times a year. If they work hard and get good grades, they can move up a level. If they don't, they go down a level. Talk about putting stress on them! Honestly, I think the Swiss live for stress. They're not happy unless they're stressed. I repeat: it sucks, in my opinion. But there you go, that's how it is and I can do anything to change it. I can be there for my daughter, I can help her, I can incourage her. So other than finding out where Kolina will be places, we were given a slap in the face when we were told that socially speaking, our daughter is an outcast. She's been labelled an outsider. This because she doesn't have any real girl friends in the class. That is because most of the girls belong to a popular click and the "leader" of this click (who I cannot STAND) actively shuts Kolina out. Apparently this is Kolina's fault. The one good friend she does have, Kristina, is also good friends with another girl in the class, Pascale. Pascale is totally jealous of Kolina being friends with Kristina and is really mean to Kolina, hoping she'll have Kristina to herself. Apparently this is also Kolina's fault. So, because no one wants her, or has the guts to stand up for her, she goes and plays soccer with the boys, who accept her and let her play with them. Or she goes and jumps rope with yougner kids. Apparently this means my child is backwards socially. Andy and I sat at the meeting with our mouths wide open and were pretty much speechless. I had to dig my nails into my palms so I wouldn't burst into tears on the spot. And the best part of all this was: Kolina was with us and heard all this. She must have felt like a million bucks. We knew that she didn't really hang out with anyone, but that it was this bad....I wonder why we weren't informed sooner, if it was that big of a deal. Once home, we talked it over and we all ended up crying. I felt so sorry for her. And I'm wondering if the reason she's been so difficult at home is because she's letting out all her sorrow and frustration out. And we've been punishing her for her "bad" behaviour. Once we calmed down and slept on it, Andy and I have gotten angry. We're furious with the teacher for his remarks and we don't think that Kolina has problems socially. Everyone we know says how outgoing and friendly she is. And so she plays soccer with the boys, so what? At least she helped herself and found someone to play with. And why the fuck is it only her fault? Why aren't the other bitches in her class being spoken to? Oh yes, we're angry. And we're in the midst of composing a letter to the teacher to tell him our "thoughts." Since then, we've told Kolina repeatedly that we are proud of her, that we do not think she's antisocial and we're perfectly OK with her playing with boys if that's what she wants to do at recess. We did encourage her to try and make friends with the other girls, because other than the bossy leader, Kolina likes the other girls and would like to be with them sometimes. My very good friend Gaby's daughter Jasmin belongs to this click. Through her, I've found out that this bossy girl is a bitch to everyone, but no one stands up to her. Jasmin said if Kolina wants to hang out with her and the other girls at recess, she should just come over, and if anyone says anything, Jasmin will tell them off. Jasmin also told me that the "in" girls went and told the teacher on Pascale for being mean to Kolina. Funny, he never mentioned that to us.
And the final chapter in today's Kolina Chronicles prooves that she's NOT socially incompetant. Just last week, a 12-year-old boy called her and asked her to "go" with him. OK, he's the local deliquant, but still! Thank goodness she turned him down because she is forbidden to have anything to do with him. He's 12, but has been kicked out of every school in Niederhasli. He also smokes, brags about the fights he's been in, and rumour has it he's a bit weird in the sexuality department. The story I heard involved a boys' shower. Enough said. I don't even want to go there. So needless to say, he is NOT considered boyfriend material!
So that's it. You're all up-to-date. Enjoy the potty training!
posted by Yvette | 3:24 PM
3 Comments:
This just makes me sick! I can't even begin to imagine just how angry you and Andy are over this.
Have you requested a meeting with the principal, or someone over the teacher's head to get your concerns heard? Will that come after you send your letter?
Sorry to hear that Kolina is having a tough time. It is always stressful for the parents, as well, of course.
There are horrible girls (and some boys, too) in most classes ... I remember a few from Courtland ...(and in life in gerneral, I suppose)but a real problem arises when there is no one who stands up to them. Will Kolina be in with a different mix of kids in high school? That might make all the difference for her.
Sounds like she has made a good decision by playing soccer with the boys. In a few years, those other girls will be wishing they were included with the boys, too! :)
I still say speaking to the principal about this teacher would be beneficial. What I don't understand is why the teacher would say such things to you IN FRONT of Kolina. Honestly - what an ass.
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