CHILDREN'S BOOKS THAT JUST DIDN'T SELL

Thanks to my friend Lisa for this bit of harmless fun!

CHILDREN'S BOOKS THAT JUST DIDN'T SELL

1. Strangers Have The Best Candy
2. Some Kittens Can Fly!
3. Daddy's New Wife Timothy
4. POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Fun Microwave Games
5. Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
6. How To Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
7. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
8. Grandpa Gets A Casket
9. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
10. Babar Meets the Taxidermist

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Saturday, November 25th. Today's the day I turn 38. Just two more years and I'll be 40. Kinda scary. So let's not dwell on that!

Following in fellow-Blogger Sue's steps, some pictures of birthdays past. It seems I was born at the age of 16 because this is first birthday picture I have. My parents were not big photographers. Oh well. I must have been so unforgettable that they didn't need to take pictures. So I'll improvise. Here's a picture of me at age 1. There's snow in the picture so that means it was winter, so that means it was just before, just around or just after my birthday.






















Moving on, we arrive at age 16, magically skipping my formative years. By then it was too late. Sweet 16 and all that rot!



















And onto the big 21! And finally a picture including Auntie Stef! This picture was taken in a hotel room in St.Jean-sur-Richelieu, Quebec. These were the days when Andy was still commuting back and forth between Zurich and St. Jean for Oerlikon Aerospace. Things worth noting: the typical Stef face and my bad-ass perm!

Moving along to a quarter century. I was in Zurich at this time. And still had the perm...

And that brings us to 2007. For the occasion, I've allowed my picture to be taken, eventhough I hate it. The gray hair! The wrinkles! The double chin!

So there you have it. A brief history of Why. Wonder what the next 38 years will bring???

I'M ALMOST FAMOUS!

Check out this bit of fun nonsense! The likeness between me and Serena Williams is mind-boggling, don't you think? Get your own celebrity look-alike collage at www.myheritage.com . You have to sign up, but it's free and worth a laugh.

FEARS FOR MY DAUGHTER

Yet another disturbing report in the news about a young girl being raped. There seem to be such stories appearing with alarming regularity. If the rapes weren't bad enough, the offenders are youths. The latest crime involved a 13-year-old girl being gang raped by 12 teenage boys, some of them as young as 15, at a friend's home. The girl's boyfriend was present and actively participated (interesting note: not one of them was Swiss. They were all from Balkan states). Another recent report involved two 11-year-old boys being forced to perform oral sex on each other in a school bathroom by another student and filmed with a cell phone. Yet anther report: a 5-year-old girl being molested by two (again, ex-Jugoslavian) boys of 9 and 11. What is this world coming to? What is turning these children into sex offenders? I tell you, it makes my stomach lurch when I think of my own daughter. Next year she'll be going to high school. Unfortunately to a school that doesn't have a great reputation. In fact, several years ago, a group of 9th graders molested a 6-year-old girl in a park. I know the mother of one of them. What can I do to protect Kolina? Get her into a self-defence class? Warn her constantly about boys so she turns into a paranoid mess? Lock her in her room for the next 10 years? WHAT? Another concern: how are these children being punished? Having my own personal police officer in the house, I can find out these things. They're not being punished with any severity. Some of them aren't even expelled from school! There's a big "hoo hah" in the Swiss parliament about what to do. Laws have got to be changed. I can say this: if I ever got hold of a kid that in any way hurt my child, I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.

***Note: after writing this, I went to get today's paper. Two headlines worthy of mentioning: "Sexual attacks on numerous primary school children" and "Four students molest 11-year-old."

Mah Nuh Mah Nuh

I don't know about you, but the last couple of days have been a bit stressful for one reason or another. Don't you sometimes wish for days gone by, when life was simple and innocent? Me too. Therefore, for your viewing pleasure, I give you Sesame Street!!! Enjoy! Hope it makes you smile as much as it made me smile.

Thin Line

I just found an article and preview relating to a new made-for-TV documentary called "Thin," about a group of girls recovering from eating disorders at a clinic in Florida. I can't find the words to say much about it other than: WATCH IT! It's so moving and honest and quite hard to watch at times. And that's just the preview.

FAMILY NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TUBE

Tonight we're going to watch "en famille"one of the few sporting events I will watch: Brasil playing football. Or should I say soccer for those non-European readers? Now, I don't actually like soccer as a rule (sorry Lisa, I know we were on a team together many moons ago), but there is just something about the Brasilian team that I like. Could it be because they're the best team in the world? Man, they rock! Watching them play soccer is like watching Team Canada play hockey - no one else comes close. They have a certain "je ne sais quoi" that is just electrifying. And as they're playing Switzerland...well, I just HAVE to watch. Dylan is wearing his Brasil socks and is all set.

Check out Ronaldinho, possibly the best player in the universe. Not the most attractive of men (I don't think orthodontic work is big in Brasil), but one awesome player.

8 MONTHS TO GO...

...until I'm lying by a pool, swimming in the Mediterranean and sipping Piña Coladas, listening to the breeze rustle the palm trees....

Yep, we booked our summer vacation already. We booked super early to get the best deal. And a great deal we got! We're off to Mallorca, one of the Baleraric Islands off the coast of Spain. We went to a neighbouring island, Menorca, last fall. Our hotel is right on a small bay, with a great beach and snorkelling opportunites. There's a gorgeous-looking pool and lots of free sports. I'm looking forward to the aquacise classes, which I will have to do that I don't come home 20 lbs heavier. We booked "all inclusive" for the first time, which means 3 meals a day (buffet style), plus all the alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks AND snacks you can eat all day (hence the aquacise classes). Some friends of our's were there this past summer and said the food was fantastic. The service was great, the entertainment (sports, stuff like afternoon bingo by the pool and nightly shows) were amazing and the kids even have Kids Clubs to go to. So I may even get a few hours of poolside snoozing in! We'll be there for 2 weeks, starting July 22nd. Check it out here.

We'll be going with our good friends, Kurt and Gaby and their girls, Carmen and Jasmin. Recalling holidays with them in the past, we'll be laughing for 2 weeks straight. I can't wait!!!

HOW TO ANNOY A CHILD

Dylan learned a lesson in "Do unto others" this weekend. I think he'll think twice about being a pig in future.

He and I (and his special stuffed animal called Snuggle Bunny) were having a cuddle on my bed. Things with Dylan always start off innocently enough, before he starts acting silly. He hasn't learned that there's a fine line between things being funny and things being gross. At some point, Dylan climbed on top of me and farted. I admit it, I laughed. Of course, he was just about peeing himself laughing. And me laughing just egged him on. I grabbed Snuggle Bunny and said in a teasing voice, "If you do that again, I'm going to fart on Snuggle Bunny!" Of course he knew I was kidding (or was I?) and giggled and tried to grab his bunny. I stuffed Snugs under my pillow. Then Dylan started to burp at me and tried to blow the burp in my face. Now this is something that he picked up from somewhere and it's gotten out of hand. I think it's revolting. I don't mind a good burp, but please keep it's "perfume" to yourself. So I kept shoving my head under the pillow, Dylan kept trying to grab Snuggle Bunny to no avail. Then he got downright dirty. He said threateningly, "Just you wait, Mommy!" and grabbed Andy's pyjama pants (boxer shorts really) and tried to shove them in my face (the kids and I have an on-going game that Daddy's pyjama bottoms are toxic and throw them at each other sometimes when we're being silly). I was rolling around the bed, shrieking "No, no, not Daddy's jammies!" and pretending to gag. Dylan loved it....until I got ahold of the shorts and wrapped Snuggle Bunny in them. Then he went a tad balistic. He was sooooo upset! Needless to say, that was the end of our wrestling match. Dylan stormed downstairs to tell Daddy how mean Mommy is.

I still giggle when I think about it!

Oh Yeah...

...by the way, welcome to my new blog!

KUDOS TO MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

My mother-in-law, Hannelore, is going into hospital today to have needles stuck in her eyeballs. Now doesn't THAT sound pleasant? Not of her own free will of course. She's not some freak who enjoys physical pain or anything. I'll explain. For the past year, her eyesight has been on the decline. I'm not sure what exactly the problem is; not only is she very vague when discussing it, I don't understand the German medical terminology let alone be able translate it into English. So suffice to say, her eyes are bad. She's had laser treatment a couple of times, but apparently her eyes have degressed so much that lasering is no longer an option. She was urged to try out a "new" form of treatment, involving having needles stuck directly into the eye. The thought alone makes my toes curl. The treatment is optional, but the alternative is to go blind. Gee, what a choice: have needles stuck in your eye or go blind. And not only that, the shots cost about $2500 EACH...and she may have to go 4 times. There was some question about whether her medical insurance would cover the treatment, what with it being new and everything, but they have agreed to pay 90%. We're back to the Big Decision again: have needles stuck in your eye AND fork over a wad of cash or go blind. Not really much of a choice, really. Needless to say, Hannelore is shit scared. Understandably. I'm thinking of her today and hoping that everything goes well, that it doesn't hurt like almighty hell, and that the treatment "takes" and she won't have to go again.

So if you get an eyelash or something stuck in your eye today and it hurts....think of the alternative!